I didn’t have a great time at university. Academically it was fine – got in, got a 2:1 in history and got out – but socially I struggled. There were various reasons for that, a fair few of which were definitely my fault. Like joining zero societies. Like joining the uni magazine but writing zero articles for it. And like what happened on my first night there.

It was about 6pm on Monday 27 September 1999 and I was back in my dorm after registering for my courses, checking out the library and buying my first pint of milk and loaf of bread from the campus shop. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. It was Daniel, the lad from the next room, and he was standing alongside two girls I’d never seen but who were really attractive.

“You all right mate,” Daniel said. “This is [can’t remember her name] and [can’t remember her name]. We’re heading out for freshers if you fancy coming along.”

Now, any normal 18-year-old would have jumped at the chance to get uni life off in this way. Good times undoubtedl...
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