Woman taking Melania’s place

Allow me to be the first person to introduce you to the most important woman in the United States whose name is not Oprah Winfrey: SLOTUS.

It might sound like the covfefe of slurs – ohmygodMichelleyouaresuchaSLOTUS – but she might be top woman in the circus of misfit toys and fillered-to-the-gills community college lawyers in magenta Barbie power suits that Donald Trump has surrounded himself with.

I mean, of course, the Second Lady of the United States, aka SLOTUS, Usha Vance.

Mrs Vance is the wife of Vice President JD Vance, and last week marked her most high-profile public event yet, having been tapped by Mr Trump to lead a shiny deployment to an indignant Greenland.

It might not immediately seem like a real boon of a jolly – to be dumped on a remote ice shelf at quite literally the end of the world – but SLOTUS’ trip marks her first serious move in a role that is shaping up to be First Lady Lite.

She has some real size 10 Christiaan Louboutins to fill.

The actual FLOTUS, Melania Trump, has not been s...
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